The Grim Reaper always takes a special interest in US Presidential elections. The President of the United States controls a vast amount of military resources, including not only nuclear weapons, but those cool drone aircraft as well.
Grim is unhappy with Barack Obama because he took out Osama bin Laden when bin Laden had the potential to kill a few thousand more people.
Fortunately, an excellent alternative has come along in Mitt Romney, and not just because of Romney’s belief in the exercise of military power all over the planet. As the CEO of Bain & Co., Romney was a partner with Grim’s all-time favourite enterprise, Philip Morris.
Bain & Co. played a key role in two spectacular successes for Philip Morris. The first one was bringing Philip Morris into Russia after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Romney, who regards Russia as the “number one geopolitical foe” of the United States, put his money where his mouth is by supplying Russians with cigarettes. It was part of a free-for-all that involved wholesale looting of major industries, as Western technocrats helped facilitate the transfer of Russia’s wealth into the hands of a few oligarchs. And, get this, Bain got US tax money to help pay for it. Chalk up 400,000 smoking-related deaths each year in Russia. Woo-hoo!
The second success was in helping Philip Morris hang onto their vital teenage market in the US. It was starting to slip away, but Romney and Bain figured out that if Philip Morris just dropped the price of their cigarettes so that teenagers could afford them, they would take in just as much in profit over the long run by recruiting a new generation of addicts. Smoking by teenagers rose by 20% over the next four years. Philip Morris was very happy with the job Romney did for them. If Romney makes it into the Oval Office, Grim will be even happier. Romney will be the most powerful anti-smoker on the planet.
Stories by Jason Cherkis and Zach Carter in Huffington Post:
Mitt Romney’s Bain Made Millions On Big Tobacco In U.S., Russia
Mitt Romney’s Bain Helped Philip Morris Get U.S. High Schoolers Hooked On Cigarettes
“Sex, Lies and Cigarettes”, a documentary film by Christof Putzel, and aired in the “Vanguard” series on Current TV, is now available on YouTube.
Sometimes the truth comes out. This time, Philip Morris got some help from the Billboard Liberation Front. Here’s the story: My Life, My Death, My Billboard
Here’s Grim’s favourite part: “All former Marlboro Men, Wayne McLaren, David McLean and Dick Hammer, were unavailable for comment due to their rugged, manly choice of death by lung cancer.”
Greetings from Grim…aka, Osama bin Tobacco.
On the 9th anniversary of 9/11., Grim would like to remind everyone that when it comes to killing, nobody — NOBODY — even comes close to his good friends at the tobacco industry.
3,000 people died on September 11, 2001. In the U.S. alone, tobacco industry products (TIPs) kill that many people EVERY 3 DAYS! Globally, TIPs kill that many people EVERY 5 HOURS!
It took my dreaded Taliban fighters 7 years to kill 123 Canadians…IN A WAR ZONE! TIPs kill that many Canadians EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Speaking of wars: With the exception of the combined 10 years of the two World Wars, TIPs have killed more people, globally — each and every year over the last century — than any/all wars!
On September 11, take a moment to think about those who died on 9/11; then take 5 moments to think about the 15,000 global citizens who die, EACH AND EVERY DAY, as a direct result of using TIPs.
And think about this, too. Most of the victims of the 9/11 “terrorist” attacks died instantly…or within minutes/hours of the attack. For most smokers, on the other hand, death is very long, slow and agonizingly painful process.
And you wonder why I fired the Taliban…and love tobacco so much!?!
TOBACCO IS WONDERFUL!
That’s why I warn anti-tobacco activists: Do not interfere with my #1 source of dead bodies! And remember: The tobacco industry does not target kids, it does not want kids to smoke, it could survive very nicely if nobody started smoking until they were 19 and, last but not least, NICOTINE IS NOT ADDICTIVE!!!
A video about Errol Povah’s Journey for a Tobacco-Free World: