The Grim Reaper Society

Keeping the human population down for over 600 years

Oct 2012
Mitt Romney is my guy
Posted in Tobacco by admin at 4:17 pm | No Comments »

The Grim Reaper always takes a special interest in US Presidential elections. The President of the United States controls a vast amount of military resources, including not only nuclear weapons, but those cool drone aircraft as well.

Grim is unhappy with Barack Obama because he took out Osama bin Laden when bin Laden had the potential to kill a few thousand more people.

Fortunately, an excellent alternative has come along in Mitt Romney, and not just because of Romney’s belief in the exercise of military power all over the planet. As the CEO of Bain & Co., Romney was a partner with Grim’s all-time favourite enterprise, Philip Morris.

Bain & Co. played a key role in two spectacular successes for Philip Morris. The first one was bringing Philip Morris into Russia after the collapse of the Soviet Union. Romney, who regards Russia as the “number one geopolitical foe” of the United States, put his money where his mouth is by supplying Russians with cigarettes. It was part of a free-for-all that involved wholesale looting of major industries, as Western technocrats helped facilitate the transfer of Russia’s wealth into the hands of a few oligarchs. And, get this, Bain got US tax money to help pay for it. Chalk up 400,000 smoking-related deaths each year in Russia. Woo-hoo!

The second success was in helping Philip Morris hang onto their vital teenage market in the US. It was starting to slip away, but Romney and Bain figured out that if Philip Morris just dropped the price of their cigarettes so that teenagers could afford them, they would take in just as much in profit over the long run by recruiting a new generation of addicts. Smoking by teenagers rose by 20% over the next four years. Philip Morris was very happy with the job Romney did for them. If Romney makes it into the Oval Office, Grim will be even happier. Romney will be the most powerful anti-smoker on the planet.

Stories by Jason Cherkis and Zach Carter in Huffington Post:
Mitt Romney’s Bain Made Millions On Big Tobacco In U.S., Russia
Mitt Romney’s Bain Helped Philip Morris Get U.S. High Schoolers Hooked On Cigarettes

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